About a week ago I decided it was time for a new avatar – I needed a photo that looked more like the me that I feel like than my previous one. I wanted a portrait that reflects who I am. So, I got our my camera, pulled the sliding door separating our dining room from our kitchen shut, set the camera to time to give me enough time to step against the white door, and took a couple of self-portraits.
I am not the same woman who started this blog. I’m still an American Mom in England, but that phrase does not solely define who I am. I am a Chemical Engineering Student. I am an activist for issues student parents and mature students face at when studying in the UK. I am a knitter and an active member of KnitSock, the University of Birmingham Knitting & Crochet Society. I am a blogger, a writer, a spinner of tales, a wordsmith. I love to cook and bake and experiment in the kitchen. I devour books on my kindle while on buses, on trains, and when I cannot fall asleep. I am a strong woman who has the courage to speak out about being broken and how my mood is not my friend.
I love coffee and chocolate, bright colours and fairytales, feeling sand beneath my feet. I’m determined to be the change I wish to see in the world around me. Slowly, I’m evolving, changing who I am, from a woman who could barely run for five minutes to one who’s running her first 5k race at the end of this month. I’m slowly moving from a person who is chaotic and disorganized into someone who’s personal space and mind are tidy and organised. I’m determined to find the good in every day, even those when I can barely pull myself out of bed and trust me, I have those days.
In attempting to define who I am and who I want to be, I’ve taken time to pause and reflect on what I wish to write of and what I long to spend my time doing. While this will always be the home of American Mom in England and my place to write of family, home and expat life, it’s not the right place for all I have say. I have a new blog in the works that I’m hoping to launch sometime between now and the end of the month. A place for the bits of me that aren’t just an American Mom in England to speak out and raise my voice. A place where I will always be the strong, independent, outspoken woman who’s on the inside.
What bits of who you are do you fail to express? What will you change to be the you that you are on the inside?