I, Erin Lee, hereby give myself permission to ignore the dreaded *mommy guilt* and take care of myself for awhile. It seems that since October I’ve been doing my best to take care of stuff, with my eye towards doing the best job of being a mother, wife, student, housekeeper that I could do, to the extent that at some point along the way I stopped doing the things that I need to do for me.
I give myself permission not to make packed lunches for Nicholas. He is more than happy to have school dinners. I give myself permission not to iron Hubby’s black t-shirts and trousers with pockets in odd places. He can use the iron himself or ask his mother to do it for him. I forbid myself to feel guilty about these things any longer. Brain power wasted feeling guilty about them is simply that – wasted, and I’ve got things I’d much rather use it to do.
I give myself permission to actively engage in my own life once again. I am in control of my thoughts, my words, my fears, my failings, my success, my triumphs, my happiness and my joy. I will not let the bad days conquer me when I fall to pieces at stupid, silly little things. I will live those moments and then close the door on them. I will move forward with my eyes focused on the good days to come.
I give myself permission to ask for help when I need it. I don’t need to do it all on my own and no one, besides me, expects me to. I give myself permission not to expect myself to get it all done on my own. Being a wife and mother is a full time job, but so is being a student. If I do my best to tackle those things and leave no time for myself, I will lose the plot. I will lose myself.
I give my permission to take time to find myself. I am more than all the labels applied to me. I am unique. I am an individual. I have a brain and often use it. Sometimes I’m oblivious and scatterbrained, and that’s okay. I have immense potential and it’s time I started using more of it.
I challenge myself to fit as many moments of fun, silliness, joy, love, and peace as possible into each and every day. Remembering that each day only happens once. Therefore I should enjoy life now because this is not a rehearsal.
This post was base on writing prompt number 3 at Sleep is for the Weak’s Writing Workshop: Permission
Ideas: Write a letter to yourself giving yourself permission to do something, or not do something – think of it like a permission letter at school, if you like. What do you wish you felt freer to do? What holds you back? Write about freedom, or lack of it. Write about constraints or guilt.